What Do You Remember

As the generations of Canadians become further and further away from the soldiers who fought on foreign soil to protect our freedoms, what will they remember?

I ask myself, what do I remember?

My mothers father was one of those soldiers, one who lived to tell the tale, or so I hoped. I can remember spending nights at the cribbage board, moving those pegs around and pleading with questions about what it was like. He was not one to tell tall tales to his grandson of what it was like, quite the opposite he chose not to talk about it at all.

No stories to pass along to my children and they to theirs about how one of their family members put their life on the line for what they believed was right. But tomorrow, that won't stop me from remembering Parker Churchill Fillmore for the sacrifices he made as well as all the other Canadians I never met who paid the ultimate sacrifice for my family.

So on Nov 11, or on any day for that matter. When you see one of our veterans, take a moment to walk up to them and say Thank You...."thank you for what you did for me." I can't imagine a more special moment for that person.

For our king and our country and the promise of glory
We came from Kingston and Brighton to fight on the front line

Just lads from the farms and boys from the cities
Not meant to be soldiers we lay in the trenches

We'd face the fighting with a smile - or so we said
If only we had known what danger lay ahead

The sky turned to grey as we went into battle
On the fields of Europe young men were fallin'

I'll be back for you someday - it won't be long
If I can just hold on 'til this bloody war is over

The guns will be silent on Remembrance Day
There'll be no more fighting on Remembrance Day

~ Brian Adams

Passion

Earlier today I was scouring my Facebook page checking on what all my friends and foes were up to when I stumbled across a blog by Toronto band Running Red Lights It struck a chord with me as I immediately recognized the struggle. My response to Scarlett's blog was this....

Passion is everything and sometimes it comes from a very dark place, but without the past you would have no future.

It just poured out of my, simply because she had struck a chord inside of me. Took me back to that primal place I had buried and walked away from long ago. I always make jokes about the navy seamen sized bag of puffed wheat that was our breakfast everyday or the powdered milk and what a treat it was to get the real thing. I have also been overheard saying, in my family the faster you ate the more food you got. As any good comedian knows, jokes also come from a dark place. There are people in this world who had it worse than me, I know that now. It is one of the benefits of age....lets call it perspective.

Regardless of who had it worse, although I had a very loving environment to grow up in, we had very little in terms of possessions which I never noticed until High School as the outlying richer areas were mixed with our hood. As crazy as it seems to people who know me as an adult, I was shy and a little withdrawn. Like Scarlett, bullies found just the right path to my door. I had to fight with my fists from time to time just to remind them I would not be taken advantage of but mostly I learned the fine art of negotiation and persuasion.

There is no doubt I am a driven, competitive, passionate person. I was not however born with those traits, they were honed through many years of struggle, torment and suffering. It is a classic tale of nature vs. nurture. My environment made me who I am today. I am proud of the person I have become, I am compassionate because I was not shown compassion, I am driven because I want better for my children then I had. I am competitive because I got sick of losing and figured out how to win.

The road of life is not an easy one. We all have our struggles and setbacks, it is how we deal with these moments in time that ultimately define who we are as a person. I often hear people complain about their situation or whine about the past and how terrible they had it. I celebrate how I was raised and the teachable moments that were presented to me. The combined total of my life experience molded me into who I am today. People should be thankful for their past, good or bad because it is those little pieces that prepare us for what is yet to come. I don't scribe these words for you the reader to feel sorry for me but to attempt to point out that you should celebrate who you are and what made you.

There have been times of late where the load has become almost unbearable, but I have the benefit of time and experience to remind me of another one of life's cliches "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

Well, I didn't die and I am stronger than ever......

Thank you Scarlett for reminding me of that.

Shocking

It has been quite sometime since I have been compelled to post something. I have been struggling with the recent news story of Tyler Clementi. Maybe it is because I have children attending University away from home for the first time who could be feeling exposed and vulnerable without the safety net of their family. Perhaps it is that one of my kids was the victim of bullying early in high school and I have seen the effects it can have on someone.

This case highlights something deeper that has been on my radar for quite sometime.... reality TV. Now don't get me wrong I am not going to rail on TV programming as the reason for this tragedy but stay with me for a moment. Programming like hit show Jersey Shore are solely predicated on the humiliation of others. I am far from a prude with a high moral compass but after watching one episode I was appalled. It astounds me there are actual human beings that are willing to put up with a whole bunch of shit just so they can be famous. They have at least made that choice of their own free will but at the end of the day they present the wrong message to the public.

When The Situation brings a girl home to have sex with her and leaves her in the bedroom while he has some cereal, then does the deed and sends her home in a cab bragging about how to handle that shit....how does that message get unscrambled in the brains of our youth? Some people are intelligent enough to see through the veil of reality TV and laugh at it because they know what losers these participants truly are. There is however, a large portion of the population who are of the same mental capacity and look up to, admire and attempt to emulate their heroes. Think of all the emergency room visits caused by endless hours of watching Jackass. Reality TV is only one part of the problem but today we have the "perfect storm".

Not only can you attempt to replicate the behaviour but technolgy has provided the way to show it off in public. Video something on your iPHONE and have it up on YouTube in minutes.....snap an embarrassing pic and post on Facebook or Twitter in seconds. Think back only 5 years or so....if I want to take an embarrassing pic of my college roomate having sex, I had to drag out my massive 1 megapixel camera, snap the shot, download it, print it and post it somewhere public. A few hundered people might see it if you were lucky.

Today, the thought process is compressed by technology, you can simply act upon your urge and in an instant it is too late to reverse your decision to broadcast to the world....something you think might be funny takes only seconds to act upon...there is not time to process if this is a bad idea or not...you just act. Whip out the iPHONE, video, take a picture or broadcast it on Skype....instantly post on Youtube or Facebook and then spread it via other social network platforms. In minutes people are watching and sending it out to their network of friends. They think it is funny too and why? It goes back to desensitization....you watch enough mindless TV and this video that popped into your inbox looks the same, so you send it around the web without a thought.

Except for one detail you didn't think of....the people on TV signed up to be humilated. Tyler Clementi DID NOT!

Fate Intervenes

So my neighbour Kevin sends me a text message last week asking if I would like to go golfing, grab some cocktails and then dinner. Kevin had collected numerous rain checks and gift certificates that were all expiring so it was time to use them up...I was game.

In Toronto we have had a spell of zero rain for 21 days...as Saturday approached the forecast calls for what? You guessed it. Rain! The morning looked promising, overcast but warm....as we hop in the car Kevin says to me "well today should be pretty inexpensive" (first element of foreshadowing). As we are on our way I am informed "just so we are clear this is my first round of golf this year so please be patient with me" (second element). I proceed to ask about the rain check for Royal Ontario and he says, "funny story, it is from 2007 but I called ahead and the pro said no worries, they would honour it" (third element). We arrive and see they have two tournaments set to tee off...this could be brutal.

The starter sends us off to 16 and says if we start there we shouldn't be held up in the least (he was right). About five holes in (Kevin is playing like a guy who has not played yet this year) it begins to rain. We make the decision to tough it out, after all I have have rain gloves...Kevin does not (fourth element). At hole number 3, a par 3, Kevin makes contact with the ball and his club helicopters out of his hand landing past the forward tees...small snicker as my rain gloves are working great. After hole 4, by some form of miracle the rain stops....as we are standing on hole 7 to hit our approach, Kevin pulls out his 9 iron to hit. As he swings the club once again helicopters out of his hand into the middle of a gigantic pond (fifth element). We were both in hysterics as were the foursome on the adjacent hole who happened to witness this spectacle of futility.

As we approach hole 11, a Par 3...139 yard hole...I snicker and say, "Kevin, I think I am going to hit an easy 9...what about you?" His response is unpublishable. I hit and plunk one into the centre of the green as the pin is ticked in the back right behind a big grassy mound. Kevin reluctantly grabs his 8 iron and swings away. The ball flight appear to be right at the flag and he begins to yell "be enough! get there!" I see the ball hit the mound and kick up toward the green and I comment, "shit, that could be really close".

As we approach the green the ball is not visible so the first place I walk to is the cup....and OMFG! he has just got a hole in one...I start yelling wooohooo! way to go Kevin..he of course thinks I am yanking his chain and refuses to believe me. That is, until he walks up and looks in the cup himself. There was no way in hell Kevin should have been on the golf course that day, but he was and by all rights we should have quit when he couldn't grip the club the first time but we soldiered on. If he had not lost his 9 iron in that pond, he would have never hit an 8 iron on hole number 11 and he would have never had his first hole in 1.

I shot my best round of the year scoring an 84 but my partner took away the days prize. A memory that will last a lifetime....I am sure glad I was there to see it!

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

This week I discovered my two year old son has "no issue" with fishing items from the toilet or fulling a cup for a little drink....first it was an expedition to retrieve gum...the second time he was brushing his teeth (we let him pretend) and was carrying a cup, which he dipped into the bowl to refill. Makes sense I guess since he is too short to run the taps...but SERIOUSLY!

Time for a toilet lock.....

Toronto was treated to a monster of a storm last night. It was a lightning show like no other. MY wife and I sat on the couch and watched the front roll in. At one point the thunder clap was so loud it felt like the house shook. Didn't help that we were watching True Blood (HBO's new Vampire series) and it was an intense episode. The severe rain and the result inside out home got me thinking about the last 30 days....

Have you ever felt like the world was against you? That your luck had suddenly run out? IT seems as of late our family is on one of those streaks....The ceiling in our living room has started leaking during rainstorms, main light fixture in our kitchen blew and is beyond repair, garbage disposal stopped working, cost $124 to find out there is a wiring issue (somewhere buried in the walls), Noah runs into a play structure and splits his lip, gums and knocks a tooth loose, Hannah gets stung repeatedly by a bee in the palm of her hand, our basement gets flooded a second time in 12 months (if we claim it our insurance company will cancel our policy), While backing up my Macbook, I manage to delete 3000 images and end up having to buy a new Macbook ....on and on it goes, a myriad of coincidental events that begin to make one truly mad. This morning I go to put my coffee in the cup holder of my car...one side simply falls off. Are you F*#kin' kidding me. This is the last straw....

Dear God, whatever we did to piss you off, we are deeply sorry and would appreciate some slight relief from this deluge of disasters both physical and financial.

sincerely the Arkell family

NXNE / MMVA Week

First off let me tell you that although it is considered work, we still take the time to have a little fun! The festivities kicked off at the NXNE Gala party at the Berkeley Church which is a super venue for a party with the many different levels and cool architecture. Had a great chat with Jake Gold about the soon to be released Cliks video...sounds absolutely off the charts. Can't wait to get a preview. We slid by Rancho Relaxo for Jay Sparrow's early set and then off to Tattoo Rock Parlour. 

Thursday was a great day with the people from Amos The Transparent who did an in store performance at Sunrise Records followed by a killer set at The Drake Hotel which saw a large group of industry people drop in to see what all the fuss has been about.

Friday afternoon kicked off at the Feldman BBQ with a great cook out by the staff of Rancho Relaxo and some ice cold Molson products. Then it was our newly formed business family UR Artist Network's VIP BBQ at Montana......some kick ass performances by The Free Press, Michou, Magneta Lane and The Reason. Although I was bleary from the days activities, I wanted to see one more band. Slam a Red Bull and off to The Hideout to catch Clothes Make The Man. It was a fun energetic set and more than I expected.

Maybe it was the constant rain on Saturday that made me not want to leave the confines of my house but maybe it was the lack of sleep and family time over the past few days....Saturday was down time which turns out was the best call considering how Sunday went.

We hit the Artist Sanctuary for Jay Sparrow's 3PM performance on the Sirius Emerging Artist stage...which was more like a single floor of a hotel suite but it was pretty damn cool. The entire Santuary was a great experience to just kick back and chill with some Organic Vodka, hang on the patio with good friends, taste the new Redbull Cola (think old school RC). Jay and I made our way through the gifting rooms and were presented with a brand new pair of PF Flyers, a microscopic Nokia bluetooth headset and killer messenger bad that fits vinyl records from the good folks at PKG...wish we had time to visit the massage room, hair salon etc etc. It was an unbelievable event for Artists in town to enjoy the MMVA's, Edgefest and NXNE. Our routing then entailed a stop at The Field party, always a hopping deal held at Tryst, then to Circa for a MMVA afterparty which featured DJ sets by members of The Stills and KOS...barely able to hang on, we managed to make it to Cobra for the Universal Music afterparty. The club was rammed so we hung in the outside patio area until my body was ready to drop. The most disappointing part of the evening was the fact we left less than a minute too soon. The big news of the night is an alleged beating laid on Perez Hilton by Black Eyed Peas star Will I AM.

I love Perez, he cuts through the crap, he has become a celebrity himself for his inflammatory web site. However, all the whining he is doing right now about the incident is tasteless. Dude, if you are going to make your living off calling humans out....making them uncomfortable and accountable for their indiscretions, then you had damn well expect to get a few bumps and bruise along the way. Quit being such a pussy and take it like a man....sometimes you fuck with the bull and you get the horns.

Wish I had held up for one more minute....that would have been the perfect cap to a perfect week.

Manners For A Social World

Words to ponder as posted by Chris Brogan - social media guru

http://www.chrisbrogn.com/pirate-moves-promoting-without-being-that-guy/

Makes sense to me as the biggest issue I have with Facebook is the Mass Unwanted messages I get on a daily basis. I would be more interested in your event if you weren't just hammering me 5 times daily. Our company has a group on Facebook, every once in a while I invite some of my friends to join. I have sent out possibly 3 messages to the group in 12 months. I value the people who have chosen to pay attention to what we are doing and I do not want to turn them off.

Words to live by Chris...thank you.

Don't Be That Guy! (or Gal)